I am available as prostitute this holiday season.
Discount rates so that I can buy Operation
(game, not medical procedure) and several
stocking stuffers for son.
Also, steaks and mushrooms for xmas eve dinner.
Also, Charlie Brown xmas show.
I will do vanilla sex, no other.
Absolutely no anal.
Sorry.
No kissing, no cuddling, no whisper in ear.
Can you tickle me with a feather? Yes. Allowed.
Can you spank my ass with quirt? A little bit, not much.
Please rent motel room.
Do not want to see your pets, poetry collection
or your wife.
Be discreet, goddamn it.
Do not promote my pussy at Facebook, MySpace
or motherfucking Twitter.
$500 for blow job if swallow expected.
Sorry.
$100 otherwise.
Straight fuck, penis penetrate vagina…$75.
Negotiable.
Send smoke signal.
Hurry.
Would like to beat
last minute shopping
crowd.

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