Here’s MESS, right in time for the goddamn holidaze. You will buy several copies of this book. You will read this book on the bus. You will read this book on the plane. You will read this book on the potty. You will read this book on the futon. You will read this book in bed. You will read and giggle and think, “Goddamn. Why couldn’t I have written this?” I wrote it for you. It was my pleasure.

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