I’m Beautiful/Amazing/I’ve Given Birth

something lately makes my ass
twitch, my brain bubble,
my tummy quiver

I’m not eating enough apples
not drinking enough milk
not sucking enough cock
but all of this equals

the problem with my universe
is much the same
as your problem with yours

my eyeballs are glued
to my Windexed mirror
really…truly…any reflective surface

the love affair with myself
began in Mommy’s womb
when I first
discovered my thumb
how can I
remove the splinters
from your foot
if my thumb
is perpetually
stuck up
my ass?

not that
removing splinters
from your foot
fits my
job description

but the
older I get
the more
ridiculous I feel
and I will
grab any chance
to prove myself