Suzy and Emily from college are waiting for you. Suzy and Emily aren’t looking for anything serious or comfort zone threatening. You can keep your cozy life, your remote control, your luxurious media room, your exotic animal menagerie, your sleep number mattress and annual generic cruise vacations. Suzy and Emily from college don’t want to encroach or endanger. Suzy and Emily from college specialize in fantasies and fetishes and unfettered FUN. What are we talking about, exactly? Well. One night stands, threesomes, white cheddar fondue, Silly String, spurting, that sort of thing. Some men might like to piss on Suzy and Emily from college. Suzy and Emily from college won’t mind! “We can wash the piss off in the shower.” Hair twirl. Giggle. Drunken lisp. Suzy and Emily from college are waiting, goddamn it. What kind of idiot are you?