How do I become a graphic designer? How do I become a librarian? How do I become a tax specialist? How do I become a child caretaker? How do I become a dietitian? How do I become an accountant? How do I become a criminal investigator? How do I become an auto mechanic? I already know how to be a clown. I already know how to be a fuckwit. I already know how to be a whore. I already know how to be an exotic dancer. I already know how to be a security guard. I already know how to be a fashion consultant. I already know how to be a model (not America’s Next Top, no). I already know how to be a waitress. I already know how to be a customer service representative. I already know how to be a wife. I already know how to be a mother. I already know how to be a martyr. I already know how to be a psychotic ex-girlfriend. I already know how to be a self-publisher. I already know how to be an editor. I already know how to be a writer. I already know how to be a chronic masturbater. I already know how to be a college student. I already know how to be a mistress. I already know how to be a pizza chef. How do I become an ass technician? How do I become a brain surgeon? How do I become a rocket scientist? How do I become a penis specialist? I already know how to be an artist. I already know how to be a photographer. I already know how to be a psychic. I already know how to be a novelist. I already know how to be a blogger. How do I become a SPAM manufacturer? How do I become a ballerina? How do I become a lounge singer? How do I become a tap dancer? How do I become a kama sutured swizzler of miracles? How do I become a disco dream tube sock stuffed scream? I would like to learn.

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