Fucking starving on this fucking starvation diet. I fucking hate grapefruit juice. I don’t want JIF extra crunchy peanut butter on wheat toast for breakfast, motherfucker. I want that bacon egg cheese biscuit from Mickey D’s with two apple pies! Fuck! My stomach hates me. I hate my stomach. My stomach will die. My stomach can go to hell! If I loved my stomach I would feed it a mushroom pizza with extra sauce, a jumbo bag of Nacho Doritoes, a Fifth Avenue candy bar and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. Yes and I would drink two liters of Coca-Cola Classic and a six-pack of Coronas with salt and lime. For dessert I would treat my stomach to a dozen tacos with hot sauce, maybe some muy caliente Buffalo wings and a box of Cheez-Its Party Mix. I NEED POPEYE’S SPICY FRIED CHICKEN. I want pancakes with butter and maple syrup, goddamn it. I’m talking about a BACON FUCKING CHEESEBURGER AND WAFFLE FRIES. I sure could go for some orange chicken from Panda Express! Walnut brownies hot and gooey from the oven, bitch. Pillsbury cinnamon rolls drizzled with cream cheese icing, baby. JESUS ON THE CROSS! I hate apples.

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